The Safe Harbor Method™ can be done in most places. For optimum results, we recommend:

• Locate a time and place that works for both of you. If you cannot agree, reschedule. This is a mutual exercise.
• Bring a timer.
• Try to create an environment that is quiet and private.
• Start with 30 seconds of silence
• Agree to the 3 rules

Alternate sharing and listening with each other in 2 minute sessions with a timer.

Set up:

• Find a quiet place where you will not be interrupted.
• Turn off your phones, if possible.
• Set up your timer - phone or sand timer.
• Agree to follow the 3 Rules.
• Agree to a time limit for the meeting.

When it is your time to share:

• Start the timer and begin.
• Stop when your time is over.
• Switch to the other person to share.
• Stop and reschedule if you need more time.

Suggestions:

• Use “I Statements".
• You may want to try sharing your Observations, Feelings, Needs and Requests.
• Pause or reschedule if you need more time.

When it is your time to listen:

• Do not interrupt your partner.
• Offer undivided attention. Your body language will reveal how well you are listening.
• We can acknowledge each other’s feelings without agreeing.
• Actively listen without judgement.

When the meeting is over:

• Create some space to digest what you just heard.

Download the Safe Harbor Starter Guide