I’ve found the SHM to be very effective. Using the Safe Harbor method you eventually get to a place where you start to hear the other person and feel the other person, which diffuses a lot of the negative emotions. It becomes less of a defensive and attacking conversation and a more compassionate and empathetic one. I highly recommend people try it with their primary relationships!

- JL

We started using the SHM and found that it provides a foundation of safety when my wife and I get into a difficult discussion or point of contention. It broke a pattern of dysfunctional communication where one of us would over-power the other and one of us would retreat, leaving us both frustrated and unresolved…. It’s been revolutionary!

- SS

I have been using the Safe Harbor Method with my partner for 4 years now and it has completely changed our relationship. It has given us a way to meet each other in moments of anger, fear, hurt and overwhelm. It has provided us with a structure for conflict and has given us the confidence that we can find our way through any hard conversation. It has provided us with a deep well of safety in our relationship.

- DR

With a life full of relationships and the challenges of expressing my own needs, I have found that using the SHM is easily one of the most useful tools in feeling heard, loved, and human. It is approachable and universal which makes it helpful in many different types of relationships in my life, from parents to partner. After plenty of traditional therapy sessions, I have found that this simple and effective method has done what months of work can do in just minutes.

- JR